The Twelve Days of Christmas: Final Fantasy VII
by TheDreamChild
Summary: What can I say? I was bored. WARNING: This song may not make sense.


**A/N: I was bored, tired, and had nothing better to do. Give me a break. Oh, and I only use Shinra as the "true love" part of the song because it was funny, not because I'm a Shinra fan. I hate Shinra…sort of. Heh heh. **

The Twelve Days of Christmas, Final Fantasy VII Style

On the first day of Christmas the Shinra gave to me: a Buster Sword under my tree.

On the second day of Christmas the Shinra gave to me: two orphans to care for and a Buster Sword under my tree.

On the third day of Christmas the Shinra gave to me: three evil Remnants, two orphans to care for, and a Buster Sword under my tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas the Shinra gave to me: four Huge Materia, three evil Remnants, two orphans to care for, and a Buster Sword under my tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas the Shinra gave to me: a place in the ranks of the Turks! Four Huge Materia, three evil Remnants, two orphans to care for, and a Buster Sword under my tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas the Shinra gave to me: six original AVALANCHE members, a place in the ranks of the Turks, four Huge Materia, three evil Remnants, two orphans to care for, and a Buster Sword under my tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas the Shinra gave to me: the 7th Heaven bar, six original AVALANCHE members, a place in the ranks of the Turks, four Huge Materia, three Evil Remnants, two orphans to care for, and a Buster Sword under my tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas the Shinra gave to me: eight Midgar sectors, the 7th Heaven bar, six original AVALANCHE members, a place in the ranks of the Turks, four Huge Materia, three evil Remnants, two orphans to care for, and a Buster Sword under my tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas the Shinra gave to me: nine towns to visit, eight Midgar sectors, the 7th Heaven bar, six original AVALANCHE members, a place in the ranks of the Turks, four Huge Materia, three evil Remnants, two orphans to care for, and a Buster Sword under my tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas the Shinra gave to me: ten winning Chocobos, nine towns to visit, eight Midgar sectors, the 7th Heaven bar, six original AVALANCHE members, a place in the ranks of the Turks, four Huge Materia, three evil Remnants, two orphans to care for, and a Buster Sword under my tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas the Shinra gave to me: eleven motorcycles, ten winning Chocobos, nine towns to visit, eight Midgar sectors, the 7th Heaven bar, six original AVALANCHE members, a place in the ranks of the Turks, four Huge Materia, three evil Remnants, two orphans to care for, and a Buster Sword under my tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas the Shinra gave to me: twelve nasty flashbacks, eleven motorcycles, ten winning Chocobos, nine towns to visit, eight Midgar sectors, the 7th Heaven bar, six original AVALANCHE members, a place in the ranks of the Turks, four Huge Materia, three evil Remnants, two orphans to care for, and a Buster Sword under my tree.

**A/N: Wow…I actually survived writing it out! Translations for those who don't have the game – the four Huge Materia are objects I had to find in the game; by "six original AVALANCHE members" I mean the six non-optional members (Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Cid, Red XIII, and Cait Sith) who don't die at any point. Chocobos are like large…birds…that you can use to get to certain places. By "towns to visit" I just mean the places scattered around the World Map – I don't know if there are nine or whatever – and I used it since I didn't have anything else for nine. Translations for people who haven't seen Advent Children – the three "evil Remnants" are Yazoo, Kadaj, and Loz, three Remnants of Sephiroth ("Think of him as a sort of larval form" as Vincent put it); the "two orphans to care for" are Denzel and Marlene, who Cloud and Tifa are helping to raise (I have heard that there were more kids that they cared for, but it seemed a bit sketchy from what I've read and observed in the movie). And by "a place in the ranks of the Turks"…well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be a Turk. **


End file.
